Mary Sue Land
by heyepic
Summary: After blacking out from a blow to the head during the interrogation, the Joker regains consciousness in a horrifying dimension.


**This is something I decided to write as a little time-filler while I continue to work chapter 8 of 'Dark Innocence." **

**[Btw, that will be updated as a happy bday present to me by the end of may, I swear (:]**

**It's a response to the disgust I feel towards a lot of stories in this section of the site.**

**Fureal, people?**

**Maybe this will open some eyes.**

**Anyway. On with the show.**

One

It had been a nasty bump to the head – one that caused little spots to form in his vision and an agonizing throbbing sensation to seep into the back of his skull. He could not recall exactly _how_ he managed to suffer such a blow; a vague memory of his head slamming forward on a stiff metal table swam through his thoughts.

He reached up with one hand to rub at the area under his damp curls, his eyes still closed tightly. Inhaling deeply, he sat up slightly and his eyes fluttered open, squinting into a bright light that seemed to permeate from all around him.

The room was bright, blindingly so, with absolutely no color on any of the walls or floor that he sat on. He frowned to himself as he shifted in his position, shaking his legs to rid them of the prickling sensation pulsating to his feet. After a moment, he pulled his body up from the floor and stretched his limps, inwardly groaning at the popping noises his joints made with each movement. As he squinted down the bright room, he could make out the image of what appeared to be a door – it was darker in color and much easier to spot. His legs took awkward steps forward as he made his way in the direction of the apparent exit.

"Where are you going?"

He stopped in his tracks at the sound of the voice. It was female, soft, and incredibly high-pitched. His eyebrows furrowed together and he turned slowly.

It was a girl.

She was young, far too young to be in the same vicinity as him. She stood motionless, staring at him intently, and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Do I know you?"

She nodded slightly, a subtle smile forming on her lips. "You would, if we were at Harvey Dent's fundraising party."

He turned fully then, crossing his arms across his chest, his eyes still narrowed in suspicion. "I, uh… what?"

"I would be at that party, that's where you would see me."

"_You_ would be there?" He snorted, rolling his eyes. "With _who_? You're a kid."

A look of rage flashed through the girl's eyes and she let out an audible gasp. She stepped forward, hands on hips, glaring icily at him. "I would come with Rachel," She bit out. "And I'm not a _kid_, I'm sixteen years old."

"Rachel…" He repeated slowly. "Rachel Dawes?"

"That's right," She nodded, smiling sweetly. "She's my dear friend, and no one seems to question why a sixteen year old is so close with a woman in her late twenties. But anyway, she's incredibly supportive of my decision to get my doctorate in psychology." She let out a sigh, a dreamy look crossing her young features. "Only three more months of interning at Arkham…"

"Interning… doctorate…_what_?" He shook his head. "You're a _kid_, there's no… there's no _way_-"

"I'm _sixteen_!" She interrupted angrily, stomping her foot on the smooth, white floor beneath them. "Besides, I'm incredibly smart for my age! _Stop _calling me a _kid_, already! It's getting old!" She paused for a moment, huffing, her cheeks flushed. "Besides, you're going to fall in love with me eventually, so it's irrelevant."

"I'm _what_?!"

"Yeah," She nodded. "You'd see me at the party, I'd be wearing a silky dress that showed off my skinny yet curvy body…" She trailed off, smiling. "Oh, and my hair would be curled perfectly, shiny and glossy and swept over to the side, showing off my pouty lips and perfectly applied mascara-"

"Stop, I…" He put a hand up, his other one coming to rub at his temples. "Just _stop_."

"Hey."

He glanced up, and she was still smiling that _sickeningly _sweet smirk, her eyes batting flirtatiously in his direction. She blinked expectantly, tapping her foot in impatience. "Well?"

"Well _what_?" He snapped, casting a look behind him at the door. He needed to get the _fuck_ out of here and he needed to do it soon.

"Aren't you going to gaze at me?" She spoke again, pouting at him. "Stare passionately into my violet colored orbs? They change to a bright blue when I'm angry, you know. Or when you're making me orgas-"

"_Fuck_!" He hissed, turning rapidly on his heel, his hands reaching up to tangle and tug at his hair.

"You didn't let me finish!" She glared. "I was _saying_ that you'd _also _take into account how beautiful my hair looks. And my makeup, which accentuates my peaches and cream complexion." She smiled and looked down, "Oh, and do you like my converse sneakers? They're purple and green."

"I need to… I need…" He was mumbling to himself rapidly, his lips moving but not quite forming words.

"Or maybe I'll sing for you. Let me whip out my iPod touch and put on one of my favorite Evanescence songs." She reached into her pocket as he stared wide-eyed in horror. "Yeah, that'll work. You'll think my voice is one of an angel."

"Do you know who you're talking to?"

"Of course," She beams, pausing in her search for the iPod. "You're the Joker…the _sexiest_ man alive."

He frowns and glances down at his coat, which has smears of the greasepaint tainting its lapels, and glances up in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"God, you're handsome," She sighs heavily. "Your suit makes you look like you could be a business man. That hair, that _smile_. God, I just want to reach out and rub your _scars_-"

Enough was enough, he decided. Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved his glock, and it felt good and heavy in his gloved hand. Lifting it, he pointed it in her direction and pulled the trigger without a moment's hesitation, but his mouth slackened at the realization that no bullet had come out and destroyed the girl's skull.

"Oh my _God_!"

Her shriek was shrill and felt sharp against his ear drums.

"You were going to do it!" Her voice was shaking, her hands balled into fists. "You were actually going to shoot me!" She let out a tiny cry. "You were going to kill _me_, Astoria Marie Raven Starr Whitford!"

"I _was_, yes." He frowned down at the gun. "But for some reason it didn't…"

"Because you would _never_ kill me!" She interrupted, sobs escaping her perfect, pink lips. "You would threaten me but never actually _do_ it because we would end up kissing and –"

He'd heard enough. Without a second thought, his legs began to move and he was sprinting down the room, ignoring the girl's echoed voice screaming for him to stop. When he reached the door, he practically threw it open, a sigh of relief escaping his mouth.

He was free.

He stepped inside, exhaling slowly, but his heart nearly stopped as his eyes landed on the figure across the room.

She stepped forward, smiling slightly.

"Why so serious?"

**I honestly wish that I made all this up. I didn't. there are STORIES, legit STORIES on this site that have this crapola in them. **

**Anywho this is a little sideproject, just for fun, for letting off steam.**

**Review and Dark Innocence will come quicker than you hope (:**

**epic**


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